From His View
by ChibiKakei
Summary: In Shin's POV. Poor Shin has feelings that make him confused and unsure of what he should do and it all centers around our favorite Sena! How will Shin deal with these foreign feelings, and why does he all of a sudden feel so protective of Sena? ShinSena
1. a confrontation

From His View

**disclaimer: don't own eyeshield 21 but i _would_ like to own Kakei and Mizumachi bwahahah**

* * *

It was pretty much all he really thought about recently; Sena and the way he looked. He was so petite with those large innocent eyes that were so expressive. He wasn't sure when all these thoughts began to form, or where they came from, but they usually consisted of Sena smiling at him, enjoying himself, laughing with him…just…being _there_ with him. Sena even appeared in his dreams often and sometimes he would have restless nights because he was confused as to why he would feel such a strong _urge_ to caress Eyeshield's face whenever he would smile at him whether in reality or in his dreams. 

Shin shifted form his position on the ground to sit in a relaxed pose on the sofa in his living room. What did this mean anyways? He couldn't understand why he was constantly thinking of his rival. Was it really normal for rivals to consume so much of his thoughts? Tomorrow at practice, he would ask Sakuraba, he would be able to tell him since that boy who looked like a monkey, Monta, was Sakuraba's rival.

* * *

"Sakuraba." Shin paused hesitantly. "There has been something occupying my mind recently and I would like to have your input on what the cause of…my distractions might be." 

Sakuraba made a small noise and wiped off his sweat with a towel given to him from the manager. It was already nighttime when practice ended and almost all of the other players had gone to their dorms to rest for the day. He took a drink from his bottle and set it down with a content sigh.

"Go ahead, Shin." Shin hesitated and stiffened, making Sakuraba stare at him inquiringly, wondering what Shin was so worried about.

"Is it…normal to think of your rival constantly? Before I never had this…problem." Sakuraba blinked and Shin fought down a sudden urge to fidget.

"Is that all…? I guess it is normal to think about your rival, because of course, before Eyeshield came you never really had any competition." Sakuraba answered lightly and his eyes thoughtfully turned skywards. "Now that he's here though, you've become more focused on the game and bettering yourself, so it's no surprise if you think about him often since he makes football more fun for you."

Shin relaxed. Good, so there wasn't anything wrong with him. Thinking about your rival is normal for everyone; even Sakuraba says it is normal. Shin nodded his thanks to Sakuraba who smiled back, standing up to walk with Shin back to the dorms.

They walked companionably, Sakuraba humming softly and Shin quietly absorbed in his thoughts. Tomorrow was the weekend, and on weekends, there was no team training but Shin would continue with his personal training with his jogs. In a small part of his mind, Shin fervently hoped that he would be able to see Sena.

* * *

the next day...

Shin suddenly woke up to the sound of the rain pouring relentlessly onto the cement outside, his eyes staring unfocused on the blank white ceiling of his dorm room. He had another dream of Sena, but this was much more vivid than usual because his face had gravitated downwards towards Sena's where he was sitting right next to him. However, Shin had woken up before…before what? What was he about to do with Sena? He pressed his lips in a thin line, pushing the blankets off his body and walked into the kitchen to make his usual breakfast.

He pulled on his running shoes after eating, noting that he had to buy new ones because this pair was beginning to wear out from his constant runs around the city. He closed his door and locked it, greeting his teammates with a nod of his head when they called out to him. Stepping outside, he was instantly drenched by the rain and he pulled his hood over his head to prevent getting most of the water from getting into his eyes.

He had jogged for several hours straight when he decided to finish up his route by stopping by the usual sporting store that he frequented and he rounded about into an alley that would take him directly to his destination. He came to a stop when he saw an obviously masculine figure towering over a small figure that was on the ground.

"Trash like you shouldn't even be alive, so why don't you do the world a favor and just die and disappear?" the voice dripped with hate, and the taller figure, who shin had recognized as Agon, used one hand to push back the dreadlocks in front of his face while using the other to slam the smaller person into the wall before throwing him harshly onto the ground as if he were a piece of disgusting trash.

Why was Agon here? And why did that person on the ground seem so familiar? Why didn't he move? Shin kept staring, willing his body to move but at the same time wanted to wait to see whether Agon would stop what he was doing and leave. The figure whimpered and curled up into a small ball, the sound jolting Shin out of his stunned state.

SENA? What was Sena doing here? Before he knew what was going on, Shin had appeared right next to Agon, his fist driving all the power he had in his body into a punch that scraped Agon's chin who barely dodged Shin's attack. While Agon slid to the ground in a disoriented nausea, Shin cradled Sena to his chest protectively and sprinted out of the alley at his top speed, forgetting his original purpose for a new one; to get Sena in a safe place as quick as possible and to take care of his wounds.

Shin made way towards his dorm room, bowling over anyone that got in his way without a second thought and kicked down his door before gently placing Sena down on his sofa. Sakuraba walked into Shin's room, winded from when Shin had pushed him aside in his blind rush.

"Shin…? What's going on-oh shit!" Sakuraba had caught sight of a beaten and unconscious Sena. Shin tore off whatever that was left of Sena's shirt, which had been torn when Agon was throwing him around and began to categorize Sena's wounds, fingers lightly and gently prodding any areas that looked damaged.

"Swollen cheek…bruises from strangulation on neck…several large bruises on the torso…" Shin pulled gently pulled off Sena's pants and felt something slippery on his hand. He pulled his hand from Sena's back and noted that there was some blood on it.an image of Sena being thrown into the wall flashed into his mind. Meanwhile, Sakuraba had put the door back onto its hinges, and made his way into shin's medicine cabinet, knowing that Shin would have a medical kit.

"Nothing broken or fractured…back has several large scratches…sprained ankle..." a white-hot feeling began to build in Shin, and he quickly put Sena into a comfortable position before he hurt him and told Sakuraba that he would return in a bit. Sakuraba nodded and let Shin know that he would take care of Deimon secretary's wounds. He made his way back outside, standing in the rain and trying to decide if he should avenge Sena. As if the rain was cleansing him, Shin felt his anger ebb away when he thought of Sena and how Sena would be disapproving of him if Shin hurt someone on behalf of him.

His face twitched momentarily before he headed back into his room and Sakuraba who anticipated Shin had motioned to him to help disinfect the wounds on Sena's back and to help wrap him up. Shin held Sena like he was the frailest glass, and Sakuraba moved around to Sena's back and applied the disinfectant. Sena hissed, his eyelids fluttering but he remained unconscious while they wrapped his torso in bandages. Tenderly, Shin set him down again, getting up to retrieve a spare blanket in his room to put on Sena. Sakuraba frowned and waved his hand towards Shin's bedroom, signaling that he wanted to talk.

"Shin, what is going on? Why was he so beat up?" he crossed his arms, his foot tapping against the carpeted floor. Shin stiffened again as the blinding anger rushed into his body. Shin frowned, his eyes smoldering and his lips pressed together so tightly they turned white. Sakuraba took a nervous step back; there weren't a lot of things that got Shin angry, actually, he had never seen Shin being angry before.

"Agon had him cornered into the alley. If I hadn't turned the corner, Sena may have been killed by Agon. Agon seemed very intent on carrying out his threat to kill Sena." Sakuraba gaped. He had heard stories about the infamous Agon. He was a genius player, one of the best of the crop, but also one of the most hostile and violent. The little runner back had managed to piss off one of the most dangerous people ever, although…Sakuraba made a nervous gulp when he noticed Shin's anger growing more visible. Shin wasn't someone that you'd like to piss off either. He held his hands up in a placating manner.

"Calm down Shin, what matters the most right now is that you were there and you were able to help Sena out ok? There's no need to get worked up over this right now." Shin unclenched his fists, feeling his anger flow out of him as his friend's words registered in his mind. He stayed quiet for a moment longer, giving Sakuraba a curt nod to show that he understood.

"Thank you for your assistance today, Sakuraba." Sakuraba smiled again, glad that the tension was gone. "No problem Shin, I'd do it anytime because we're buddies. Now that that's over, I think I'll head back to my own room to study for the test that's coming on Monday. Later!"

Shin followed Sakuraba to the door, locking it when he exited and pulled up a chair next to the sofa where he would sit and keep vigil over Sena to make sure that nothing else would hurt the boy. His black eyes focused onto Sena's face, watching how Sena was breathing in a relaxed way, his lips partially open and a bruise marring an otherwise peaceful look. Without knowing it, one of shin's hands had moved to lightly trail the bruise and then moving to rub lightly at Sena's lips

He's very soft. His skin is very smooth too. Taking in the round, childish face a stray thought of how Sena looked very feminine danced around in his head. Sena sighed, which made shin freeze.

What am I doing? Shin stared at his traitorous fingers, which were splayed onto Sena's cheek and lips. Heat rushed to his face and he pulled his fingers back as if he were burned, staring at the appendages in a horrified way because he had lost control of his own body.

What is going on? What is this? Shin covered his mouth with his hand, jerking it away with wide eyes when he had belatedly realized that the hand he was using was the…hand that had fondled Sena. His heart thudded painfully in his chest and Shin wondered how Sena wasn't waking up at the noise, it was so loud it echoed in his ears!

Sena made a small moan, his eyes groggily opening. Shin froze in place, his entire being focused on Sena and his heart and breath quickening. Sena seemed to be dazed; maybe he had a concussion? Yes, maybe that was why his body was reacting so strangely, Sena was not well so his body must be unconsciously preparing for anything that could happen that he could react to in an instant. Shin felt his eyes widen when those damned half-lidded chocolate brown eyes seemed to focus onto him.

Don't look at me like that, Shin thought. It makes me want to do something, but I don't know what that 'something' is!

"S-Shin -san…?" Shin felt the air leave his lungs. Sena had called his names so many times before, why was this any different? Why would this one time affect him so badly? His eyes widened a margin wider when he noticed that Sena's face seemed to be closer than before. His mind flashed back to his dream from earlier and foreign emotions filled his body to the brim along with panic. His body wasn't listening to him! Stop! Stop! His tongue darted out to moisten his lips. Damned traitorous body! Listen and stop moving!

His lips came into contact with Sena's, his mind silencing itself immediately when a giddy and euphoric feeling overcame him and his eyes slid shut. Sena made a small contented sigh and he slid back into unconsciousness. Shin slumped back into his seat, reveling in the new feelings that enveloped him with warmth. Reality came crashing down around him when he realized that he had just taken advantaged of a wounded, defenseless person and the warmth drained away to leave a hollow coldness.

What had he done?

TBC…

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**Author's Corner:**

eeep! sorry Sena lol. it was necessary for this story and poor Shin, he has no idea what's going on with him mwahahahahah! if there are any mistakes...urhh my bad! i was up 'til 2 in the morning trying to type this and i'm not much of a night owl, i prefer to sleep like 10 hours a day...


	2. getting advice

From His View ch 2:

Getting Advice

Two thousand six-hundred eighty eight…two thousand six-hundred eighty nine…two thousand six-hundred and ninety… sweat dripped off his face and arms, as he did his push ups using only thumbs. Why did he do such an impulsive thing? His body was much too spoiled, and now he had to learn how to train his body into listening to his mind by pushing himself beyond his normal limits.

So there he was in the living room, absentmindedly counting as he continued his punishment while Sena slept on peacefully and innocently, never knowing what had just occurred a few hours ago. By the time shin reached two thousand and seven hundred, his arms were aching so much that they shook violently that he had to stop lest he hurt himself. But he would deserve it for violating poor Sena's personal space like that especially when said person was unconscious and therefore unwilling.

His frown came back as he thought while he rested. These feelings were much too confusing, and very new, as he had never felt them before and didn't know how to deal with them. All he knew was that they were all related to Sena. Maybe Sakuraba would know, as he seemed more knowledgeable in the ways of interacting with people anyways because he was an idol.

* * *

"Sakuraba, are you there?" Shin knocked on Sakuraba's door, a strange feeling in his gut. He heard a grunt from beyond the door and several thuds coming his way. A particularly loud thud and an equally loud curse came out Sakuraba before he opened the door and rubbed his eyes blearily.

"Shin? What're you doing here? It's 3 in the morning!" Sakuraba voice cracked and Shin noticed that Sakuraba was favoring his left foot. Sakuraba noticed Shin's silent observation and gave him a wry grin.

"I stubbed my foot on something in the hallway and fell over. It's still a bit sore…and what are you doing here again?" Sakuraba yawned widely his mind slowing down, as he was ready to fall asleep while standing up. Shin shifted, uncomfortable and anxious about what kind of answer he would get.

"Yesterday afternoon, our talk…I still cannot understand what the feeling I am currently experiencing is. I was hoping that you would be able to help me identify these feelings so I would know how to take care of them and put my mind at ease…" Sakuraba's head had bobbed up and down, his eyelids drooping downwards and Shin continued on thinking that Sakuraba had motioned for him to keep talking.

"I…" Shin hesitated. "I have...these dreams and thoughts that involve this person and…" Shin audibly gulped. "T-they involve touching in inappropriate places." Shin's eyes stared at the ground, ashamed that he wanted to do such a thing. Hugging someone was surely a violation of someone's space! Especially when it wasn't during a football game!

"mmm…" Sakuraba's sleepy mind barely registered what Shin had said and thought about something else completely. "Shin it's normal for guys to think about that stuff…uhh…when that happened I guess it's 'cause you feel lust towards them or because you have a crush on them." Sakuraba's sleepiness infiltrated his words and made them slur.

Lust. That was a familiar word to Shin. Surely he didn't feel intense sexual desires towards Sena did he…? He thought back on his actions and thoughts and was horrified. No! This feeling was lust?! He had urges to kiss Sena and to h…h-hug him! Surely those had qualified a lust? But was he really only physical attracted to the smaller boy? No…he was also attracted to his personality…so…what was that word? A crush? He had a _crush_ on Sena?

Shin was so stunned at his own revelations that he didn't notice that Sakuraba had fallen over in his sleep was beginning to snore from his awkward position on the ground. Shin walked away from the room to return to his dazedly.

* * *

with Sena...

His eyelids felt so heavy, and his body hurt everywhere. Hiruma was going to kill him for getting beat up and not making it back to practice…Sena opened his eyes reluctantly halfway, grateful that the lights were dimmed. Wait a second. _Lights_?! His eyes flew open and he was greeted by an unfamiliar room and began to panic.

"W-what? Where am I? Oh no, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die…!" a small imaginary Hiruma popped into his mind's eye in all his demonic gun-toting glory.

"_Ya-ha! Fucking chibi! Where the hell are you and why are you skipping out on practice?! And where's all my shit from the fucking store you damn shrimp?!"_ the mini-Hiruma cackled and began shooting at his conscious.

"Hiee!! I'm sorry! I didn't mean to forget!" Sena scrunched up into a small ball, closing his eyes tightly and hoping that Hiruma wouldn't hurt him too much.

"_Damn straight you better be! Now get your sorry ass back here_" mini-Hiruma disappeared from his mind and Sena unrolled himself from his position, the blanket sliding off him. Sena stared at the blanket at surprise.

"Huh? A blanket?" Why was he here? What had happened to him? There was a blank spot in his memory, and Sena sat on the couch clutching the blanket and tried to remember how he came to be in this foreign place.

"Ah…it was raining and…I was shopping for Hiruma!" Sena smacked a hand in one palm, happy that he was able to remember a bit. "And then…" Sena paled.

"Agon came and beat me up…he cornered me in the alley before I could get away…" his face scrunched up when he tried to picture what had been happening; especially before he passed out. He could remember a giant dark blur knocking away Agon and him relaxing in someone's strong arms when he finally let go of his consciousness in relief.

Sena blushed. Those arms were pretty warm…b-but they carried me like I was some kind of girl! Sena felt a bit indignant when he realized that his savior had carried him bridle style! And in public no less! Sena bit his lip when another thought occurred to him.

If I'm here…than that means that he saved me and brought me back to his place. He noticed bandages covering him throughout several places on his body and lifted the blanket and promptly blushed. They even took off my pants! It's a good thing they left my boxers on though.

"Where are my clothes?" Sena craned his neck, trying not to aggravate his wounds while he looked for his clothes from his seat on the couch. Seeing that his clothes were no where in sight and instead noticed the clock on the other side of the room Sena decided to go back to sleep and to thank his savior properly in the morning and ask for his clothes back then.

Shin stepped into the room just as Sena fell into a deep sleep, and made way quickly for his room. He threw open his closet door and began to search through it for something that one of his teammates had recently given him for his birthday as a friendly joke. Shin had thrown out most of the clothes in his closet when he had found the item that he was searching for in the corner under a shoebox. He snatched it and walked towards his bed, ignoring the uncharacteristic mess that he had made in his rush and reverently read the title of the book.

**101 on Dating for Emotionally Retarded Dummies** by ChibiVi3tkitsun3. _Clueless on how to court someone? Want advice that's really vague but enough to point you in a few directions? Well, with these very few and questionable advices win the heart of your beloved! _[1

Shin let out a breath, his eyes wide as he carefully opened the book to the first page and began to read it intensely as if he depended on it for his life. Many hours later, Shin stumbled out of his room to make breakfast, the small booklet tucked into a pocket in his pants. As his head was buzzing with new information Shin had not noticed that Sena had left with Shin's blanket who had thought that no one was coming and decided to leave but would come back at a later date.

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**Author's Corner**

[1 thought this would be a good idea having Shin rely on a book instead of a person to give him advice on his love-life. i have no clue what really happens in relationships so if some people want to give me advice i'd gladly use it(especially if it's vague enough for someone like Shin to misundertand it). otherwise, it'll be absolute crack that i come up with on my part. :D haha

hope you guys like this chapter! r&r please!


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